Tuesday, September 6, 2011

On the flip side - OKC addendum

I've been told, often, that I shouldn't complain so often about OKC if I never message people back. Or I never message people first. Thing is: I do message back. Sometimes I even message them first. I talk for a bit and they're ok. Then they freak out. I say something wrong and they disappear. Forever. Told one dude I like to color with crayons. It was true, I used to do it every week at Kafe Kerouac. It was fun! Relaxing social time with nice folks and pretty colors. Never heard from him again. Said I liked bloody movies - never heard from that guy again. Invited a guy to Havanna with some friends of mine. We'd been trying to hang out almost every night for a week. Never heard from him again either. I'm not even going to go into the guy that's messaged me three times, always in February, and asks me the exact same questions - all which end up with a "how do you feel about god" thing, despite the obvious answer on my profile that says I'm VERY SERIOUS about Atheism... "You know, I don't know how I feel about a hypothetical deity. Kinda like feeling something about gnomes, don't you think?"
Guys I've messaged first have often ended up annoying in a "I'm not really listening to what you're saying" kind of way, or the Negative Nancy type I mentioned previously, or the "I'm superhyper interested JUST CUZ you showed me the slightest attention" type. Yeah... sometimes I message dudes cuz I think their cat is cute. Not gonna lie about that. Doesn't mean we're soul mates. Also doesn't mean I wanna join your LAN party. Maybe I just want someone to talk to about cats.
So when guys (friends, mostly) come back and say, "you should give a guy a chance" or "you should start the conversation - sometimes it's hard", I can't help but say, "You know what's not hard? Reading. I could be doing that and get a lot more out of it. AND - bonus deal- I wouldn't have to feel guilty for no reason if I did that instead!"
I have enough guilt in my life without feeling responsible for the fragile egos of post-adolescent males, thank you.

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