Here's my thing about Thanksgiving:
Yeah, it's built upon a complete and total lie. There was no happy harmony between new settlers and indigenous people. There was only slaughter and smallpox.
This is not something to forget. I am not trying to forget anything about that. I think it was nasty for historians to TRY to forget that. To gloss over all the death and teach children some fantastical lie about turkey and corn. While slaughter and smallpox is a little heavy for young minds, I think it's inappropriate to lie to children. Doesn't help anyone.
However, I do not think that celebrating Thanksgiving as it exists today has anything to do with those stories. None. There's no connection between modern Thanksgiving rituals and that lie you tell second graders to pretend our ancestors didn't slaughter whole societies of people.
Celebrating Thanksgiving, as it exists today, is not about some ancient fluffy lie. It's about family and friendship. It's about sitting down and enjoying some food and company and taking a minute to feel thankful for what you have. Even if you don't have much, it's worth taking a minute to be glad. It's about a feast before a long, hard winter. It's about the harvest. It's about enjoying what you have while you have it.
Thusly, I haven't any qualms about celebrating Thanksgiving despite the horrific atrocities my ancestors committed against a full country of people.
We cannot forget the past, but we also cannot forget that things change. In time, meanings change and societies change and a lot happens in two hundred years.
In conclusion, a quote from a Thanksgiving special.
"A bear! You made a bear!"
"I didn't mean to."
"Undo it! Undo it!"
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
hounddogs
Makes me want my duct tape covered notebook and some black coffee. And chocolate cake, on some summer afternoon after the 11th grade. I do so love it here sometimes.
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Sunday, October 30, 2011
A Memo to Men
You know how people always look at you just a teensy bit nicer when you're dressed up? When you clean up nice and wear a button-down Oxford shirt and nice, well-tailored slacks? People may compliment you and point out, with a note of surprise, that you look good when you don't look like hell all the time?
Let me impart some wisdom:
All men look good in an Oxford shirt. All of them. At formal occasions, when fully buttoned with a tie, men will look good. In informal occasions, with sleeves rolled up and the collar unbuttoned, men will look good.
The Oxford shirt is specifically designed to flatter a man's distinct lack of curves. It shows off the angular shoulders and straight hips with ease and elegance. I am convinced that that shirt is one of the greatest product designs of all time. Whoever designed it is some sort of Grecian sculptor reborn, etching the post-war man from blocks of marble in a Platonic Ideal ecstasy.
This is not to say that it doesn't look excellent on women, too. The angular tailoring of the Oxford shirt emphasizes the places where a woman's curves distort the angles and all my CAHS education is screaming at me to giggle "curvilinear lines!!" Thanks, Mr. Feeser.
My point is simply to clarify what perhaps you were never told before:
Wearing an Oxford shirt makes you look your best. When you flatter your shapes with the eloquent confidence of the greatest innovation in men's fashion, those who are turned on by the shape of men will act like total and complete idiots in your wake. It can only improve your hopes of a best-case scenario on a Saturday night, whatever that outcome may be. Waffle house? Yes, please.
Let me impart some wisdom:
All men look good in an Oxford shirt. All of them. At formal occasions, when fully buttoned with a tie, men will look good. In informal occasions, with sleeves rolled up and the collar unbuttoned, men will look good.
The Oxford shirt is specifically designed to flatter a man's distinct lack of curves. It shows off the angular shoulders and straight hips with ease and elegance. I am convinced that that shirt is one of the greatest product designs of all time. Whoever designed it is some sort of Grecian sculptor reborn, etching the post-war man from blocks of marble in a Platonic Ideal ecstasy.
This is not to say that it doesn't look excellent on women, too. The angular tailoring of the Oxford shirt emphasizes the places where a woman's curves distort the angles and all my CAHS education is screaming at me to giggle "curvilinear lines!!" Thanks, Mr. Feeser.
My point is simply to clarify what perhaps you were never told before:
Wearing an Oxford shirt makes you look your best. When you flatter your shapes with the eloquent confidence of the greatest innovation in men's fashion, those who are turned on by the shape of men will act like total and complete idiots in your wake. It can only improve your hopes of a best-case scenario on a Saturday night, whatever that outcome may be. Waffle house? Yes, please.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
When I talk to myself, I speak in thinly-veiled metaphor.
This is a flashback. Sometimes I've already said what I wanted to say. Sometimes, I said it years ago, in another time in another place, responding to the same question. This time, however, I'm really just talking to myself.
I was going to post Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem "What Could She Say to the Fantastic Foolybear?", but it's obviously not mine, and this is my blog. Think of his work as the question, posed, not by anyone but myself. Below is my response to the question, written in 2001. Please remember that I was seventeen when I wrote this response. Despite it's faults, the poem is as true now as it was then.
----
Usagi's Lingerie
i haven't changed
in the least
i haven't though I have
everyone's different now
they all feel betrayed
and alone
i did not leave them alone
i left myself
for myself
i left my fears
and my excuses
for myself
i haven't changed
have i?
i'm still the me
you love
i'm still the me
with the mismatched
socks and the
pigtails
i'm still me
just a part of me
you didn't know
came out for all to see
and it scandalized the masses
i didn't betray you
you just didn't know me
as well as you thought you did
I was going to post Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem "What Could She Say to the Fantastic Foolybear?", but it's obviously not mine, and this is my blog. Think of his work as the question, posed, not by anyone but myself. Below is my response to the question, written in 2001. Please remember that I was seventeen when I wrote this response. Despite it's faults, the poem is as true now as it was then.
----
Usagi's Lingerie
i haven't changed
in the least
i haven't though I have
everyone's different now
they all feel betrayed
and alone
i did not leave them alone
i left myself
for myself
i left my fears
and my excuses
for myself
i haven't changed
have i?
i'm still the me
you love
i'm still the me
with the mismatched
socks and the
pigtails
i'm still me
just a part of me
you didn't know
came out for all to see
and it scandalized the masses
i didn't betray you
you just didn't know me
as well as you thought you did
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
On the flip side - OKC addendum
I've been told, often, that I shouldn't complain so often about OKC if I never message people back. Or I never message people first. Thing is: I do message back. Sometimes I even message them first. I talk for a bit and they're ok. Then they freak out. I say something wrong and they disappear. Forever. Told one dude I like to color with crayons. It was true, I used to do it every week at Kafe Kerouac. It was fun! Relaxing social time with nice folks and pretty colors. Never heard from him again. Said I liked bloody movies - never heard from that guy again. Invited a guy to Havanna with some friends of mine. We'd been trying to hang out almost every night for a week. Never heard from him again either. I'm not even going to go into the guy that's messaged me three times, always in February, and asks me the exact same questions - all which end up with a "how do you feel about god" thing, despite the obvious answer on my profile that says I'm VERY SERIOUS about Atheism... "You know, I don't know how I feel about a hypothetical deity. Kinda like feeling something about gnomes, don't you think?"
Guys I've messaged first have often ended up annoying in a "I'm not really listening to what you're saying" kind of way, or the Negative Nancy type I mentioned previously, or the "I'm superhyper interested JUST CUZ you showed me the slightest attention" type. Yeah... sometimes I message dudes cuz I think their cat is cute. Not gonna lie about that. Doesn't mean we're soul mates. Also doesn't mean I wanna join your LAN party. Maybe I just want someone to talk to about cats.
So when guys (friends, mostly) come back and say, "you should give a guy a chance" or "you should start the conversation - sometimes it's hard", I can't help but say, "You know what's not hard? Reading. I could be doing that and get a lot more out of it. AND - bonus deal- I wouldn't have to feel guilty for no reason if I did that instead!"
I have enough guilt in my life without feeling responsible for the fragile egos of post-adolescent males, thank you.
Guys I've messaged first have often ended up annoying in a "I'm not really listening to what you're saying" kind of way, or the Negative Nancy type I mentioned previously, or the "I'm superhyper interested JUST CUZ you showed me the slightest attention" type. Yeah... sometimes I message dudes cuz I think their cat is cute. Not gonna lie about that. Doesn't mean we're soul mates. Also doesn't mean I wanna join your LAN party. Maybe I just want someone to talk to about cats.
So when guys (friends, mostly) come back and say, "you should give a guy a chance" or "you should start the conversation - sometimes it's hard", I can't help but say, "You know what's not hard? Reading. I could be doing that and get a lot more out of it. AND - bonus deal- I wouldn't have to feel guilty for no reason if I did that instead!"
I have enough guilt in my life without feeling responsible for the fragile egos of post-adolescent males, thank you.
On OK Cupid
Perhaps I am judging too harshly. Perhaps not all online dating sites are as frustrating. Perhaps I'm just a cynical bitch.
I just can't help that almost every time I receive any kind of message from OK Cupid, I sigh in exasperation. The exception is only if I happen to already know the sender (and even then sometimes. Really? Must you say that to me... ugh... Do you know me at all?). Whether it be "someone's checking you out RIGHT NOW" [creepy] or "SoAndSo chose you from their quiver"[awkward] or "DudeStuff sent you a message"[comes with free guilt], I know that I will be disappointed. And it's not always for the same reason.
Rarely do I complain over someone's looks. Honestly, I don't really care that much what they look like if they're an interesting person. So he looks like Tyrion Lannister. So what? If he talks and thinks like Tyrion Lannister, I've got no qualms!
Thing is, most often those that message me say something deeply inane. "Nice profile. Your funny. Want 2 chat?" Sigh. Or, like today, someone has a username that makes me uncomfortable. "Diabloblanco" is very similar to me as "ImAWhitey" and "HonkeyTime". Must you so clearly label your race when your profile picture (apparently you're sleeping with a stuffed lion - perhaps a dog) states it for you?
Occasionally someone says something interesting. Often it's "Oh, I read that book", but then it devolves into "I read that book and I hated it even though you loved it deeply. I thought it was boring, and didn't understand what the fuss was about." After I read that (which is often) all the rest I can read is "blah blah blah my opinion is better than yours blah blah blah" It is amazing how many men believe that the way to a woman's heart is to impress upon her the stunning brilliance of their idiotic and unsupported opinions. This isn't limited to books. It's even more true of film and almost ubiquitous when it comes to music. I don't get why guys think I'll be impressed when they tell me they think Kevin Smith is stupid. You already know I love his work. Why would your hatred impress me?
Actually this speaks to an even greater phenomenon among post-adolescent males. The Negative Nancy. Not only are most things stupid and beneath them, but all things that aren't are overrated. Tell a guy you like Cory Doctorow and Neal Stephenson and he'll tell you that Cory Doctorow has no idea what he's talking about and Neal Stephenson is boring and overrated. Tell him you like Quentin Tarantino and Sleater-Kinney and he'll tell you Sleater-Kinney is a whiny girl band and you'd totally like some death metal bullshit better (he'll make you a mix, if you want) and that Tarantino's a camera hog who knows nothing about film. Nothing is good enough for this man and you will never like anything cool enough for him. WHY should I spend time with them if they spend their entire hour and a half telling me my opinions are stupid? Yes, sir, that's why I never called back. Oh and also you're a drama queen.
Back to OKC.
Once I had a guy say, "I see you like Roger Zelazny. I have heard of him but may or may not have read anything by him." Really? Wow. That was a complete waste of both of our times. Are you a spy or something? Are you TRYING to keep information from me? You know I never gave a damn, right?
The chat feature is a joke. Invariably someone messages me. Says "hi" and then gets offended when I don't respond. Perhaps I'm busy or watching a movie or basically doing things to amuse myself not hanging on your every word. WHO ARE YOU?
Then there's these guys. Lots of them. "Hi there, I'm Sweaney, turned 43 earlier this month. I know that's 11 years outside of your posted age range, but apparently, I messaged you anyway. :)" Uhh... really? 43 huh? ok... there's a reason I have a posted age range, it's cuz I don't feel comfortable dating someone who could have had children who watched Ren&Stimpy. At least he didn't open with his "I like to get naked" line...
Guys who say "I was intrigued by your profile." or "I'd really like to get to know you." really just make me nervous. Were you truly intrigued by the biting sarcasm? Or was it the cynical jokes? The randomly goofy references to bullshit pop culture? Or the daring mention of tentacle porn? I just have to wonder if they get the joke. Get that it's on them and me and everyone on this ridiculous farce of a site. I should tear it down, but I keep it up on the off-chance that I sign on one day and someone genuinely catches my eye.
Perhaps I still have hope. Perhaps I'm bored. Perhaps I'm simply too damned lazy. Whatever the reason, I can't help feeling like the joke really is on me. Yes, you unwashed masses, please continue messaging me inane statements commenting on my taste in media. Please. It's what I long for.
And people wonder why I'm an escapist!
I just can't help that almost every time I receive any kind of message from OK Cupid, I sigh in exasperation. The exception is only if I happen to already know the sender (and even then sometimes. Really? Must you say that to me... ugh... Do you know me at all?). Whether it be "someone's checking you out RIGHT NOW" [creepy] or "SoAndSo chose you from their quiver"[awkward] or "DudeStuff sent you a message"[comes with free guilt], I know that I will be disappointed. And it's not always for the same reason.
Rarely do I complain over someone's looks. Honestly, I don't really care that much what they look like if they're an interesting person. So he looks like Tyrion Lannister. So what? If he talks and thinks like Tyrion Lannister, I've got no qualms!
Thing is, most often those that message me say something deeply inane. "Nice profile. Your funny. Want 2 chat?" Sigh. Or, like today, someone has a username that makes me uncomfortable. "Diabloblanco" is very similar to me as "ImAWhitey" and "HonkeyTime". Must you so clearly label your race when your profile picture (apparently you're sleeping with a stuffed lion - perhaps a dog) states it for you?
Occasionally someone says something interesting. Often it's "Oh, I read that book", but then it devolves into "I read that book and I hated it even though you loved it deeply. I thought it was boring, and didn't understand what the fuss was about." After I read that (which is often) all the rest I can read is "blah blah blah my opinion is better than yours blah blah blah" It is amazing how many men believe that the way to a woman's heart is to impress upon her the stunning brilliance of their idiotic and unsupported opinions. This isn't limited to books. It's even more true of film and almost ubiquitous when it comes to music. I don't get why guys think I'll be impressed when they tell me they think Kevin Smith is stupid. You already know I love his work. Why would your hatred impress me?
Actually this speaks to an even greater phenomenon among post-adolescent males. The Negative Nancy. Not only are most things stupid and beneath them, but all things that aren't are overrated. Tell a guy you like Cory Doctorow and Neal Stephenson and he'll tell you that Cory Doctorow has no idea what he's talking about and Neal Stephenson is boring and overrated. Tell him you like Quentin Tarantino and Sleater-Kinney and he'll tell you Sleater-Kinney is a whiny girl band and you'd totally like some death metal bullshit better (he'll make you a mix, if you want) and that Tarantino's a camera hog who knows nothing about film. Nothing is good enough for this man and you will never like anything cool enough for him. WHY should I spend time with them if they spend their entire hour and a half telling me my opinions are stupid? Yes, sir, that's why I never called back. Oh and also you're a drama queen.
Back to OKC.
Once I had a guy say, "I see you like Roger Zelazny. I have heard of him but may or may not have read anything by him." Really? Wow. That was a complete waste of both of our times. Are you a spy or something? Are you TRYING to keep information from me? You know I never gave a damn, right?
The chat feature is a joke. Invariably someone messages me. Says "hi" and then gets offended when I don't respond. Perhaps I'm busy or watching a movie or basically doing things to amuse myself not hanging on your every word. WHO ARE YOU?
Then there's these guys. Lots of them. "Hi there, I'm Sweaney, turned 43 earlier this month. I know that's 11 years outside of your posted age range, but apparently, I messaged you anyway. :)" Uhh... really? 43 huh? ok... there's a reason I have a posted age range, it's cuz I don't feel comfortable dating someone who could have had children who watched Ren&Stimpy. At least he didn't open with his "I like to get naked" line...
Guys who say "I was intrigued by your profile." or "I'd really like to get to know you." really just make me nervous. Were you truly intrigued by the biting sarcasm? Or was it the cynical jokes? The randomly goofy references to bullshit pop culture? Or the daring mention of tentacle porn? I just have to wonder if they get the joke. Get that it's on them and me and everyone on this ridiculous farce of a site. I should tear it down, but I keep it up on the off-chance that I sign on one day and someone genuinely catches my eye.
Perhaps I still have hope. Perhaps I'm bored. Perhaps I'm simply too damned lazy. Whatever the reason, I can't help feeling like the joke really is on me. Yes, you unwashed masses, please continue messaging me inane statements commenting on my taste in media. Please. It's what I long for.
And people wonder why I'm an escapist!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Do you need this in MLA format?
My hard drive (I'm lumping three into one) is full of random television shows. Lots of stuff from Salute Your Shorts to Deadwood. From Revolutionary Girl Utena to Ren and Stimpy. It's intense. I'm feeling the burn right now downloading... Veronica Mars or The Animaniacs, I can't remember. I'll have to do some shuffling later.
But I only have two full-length movies.
The Battleship Potemkin by Sergei Eisenstein and
Zack and Miri Make a Porno by Kevin Smith
Now, I have spent lots of time discussing, defending and basically preaching the gospel of both geniuses. Admittedly, I've spent more time discussing the genius of Kevin Smith than Eisenstein, but mostly because everyone knows how brilliant Eisenstein is. I mean, come on, modern comic art wouldn't exist if Eisenstein's theory of montage hadn't happened. That's just obvious. Seriously, if you don't know his work, look him up. You know that montage scene in every movie you've ever seen? It wouldn't exist without him. So take a moment during Team America World Police to be entertained by the contributions of a Russian revolutionary to that song about montage.
Kevin Smith, however, people write off as just a comic fan writing vulgar scripts about slackers, so I have to defend him. His insight into a 20-something existence is just as profound now, as I AM a fucking twenty-something as it was when I was an adolescent being shown what I had to look forward to. Dante's obsession with the bitch who fucked him over in high school, Brodie's tendency to ignore Rene in favor of video games, Alyssa getting pissed off at Holden for putting all that pressure on her and then Dogma's disillusionment and faith. I could go on and on about how great Dogma is. No one agrees with me, but I put it in a class with Dante and Milton. Maybe that's cuz I'm on the outside looking in. Anyway, Smith's ability to tell the truth is what's so impressive. He's true to his characters and doesn't make them do things they wouldn't. Ok, he stretches Jay and Silent Bob quite a bit, but that's kind of their whole raison d'etre. If you need this in MLA format, I'd be happy to oblige, just say the word.
Anyway, I asked Michelle earlier what she thinks it means about me that the only movies on my hard drive are Eisenstein and Kevin Smith and she said it probably doesn't mean much. She's right. Although, Kevin Smith wouldn't be able to do what he does, nor would those comics he so deeply love exist in their proper narrative form without Eisenstein's work. So maybe the choice isn't that random.
Let's be honest though. It mostly was.
But I only have two full-length movies.
The Battleship Potemkin by Sergei Eisenstein and
Zack and Miri Make a Porno by Kevin Smith
Now, I have spent lots of time discussing, defending and basically preaching the gospel of both geniuses. Admittedly, I've spent more time discussing the genius of Kevin Smith than Eisenstein, but mostly because everyone knows how brilliant Eisenstein is. I mean, come on, modern comic art wouldn't exist if Eisenstein's theory of montage hadn't happened. That's just obvious. Seriously, if you don't know his work, look him up. You know that montage scene in every movie you've ever seen? It wouldn't exist without him. So take a moment during Team America World Police to be entertained by the contributions of a Russian revolutionary to that song about montage.
Kevin Smith, however, people write off as just a comic fan writing vulgar scripts about slackers, so I have to defend him. His insight into a 20-something existence is just as profound now, as I AM a fucking twenty-something as it was when I was an adolescent being shown what I had to look forward to. Dante's obsession with the bitch who fucked him over in high school, Brodie's tendency to ignore Rene in favor of video games, Alyssa getting pissed off at Holden for putting all that pressure on her and then Dogma's disillusionment and faith. I could go on and on about how great Dogma is. No one agrees with me, but I put it in a class with Dante and Milton. Maybe that's cuz I'm on the outside looking in. Anyway, Smith's ability to tell the truth is what's so impressive. He's true to his characters and doesn't make them do things they wouldn't. Ok, he stretches Jay and Silent Bob quite a bit, but that's kind of their whole raison d'etre. If you need this in MLA format, I'd be happy to oblige, just say the word.
Anyway, I asked Michelle earlier what she thinks it means about me that the only movies on my hard drive are Eisenstein and Kevin Smith and she said it probably doesn't mean much. She's right. Although, Kevin Smith wouldn't be able to do what he does, nor would those comics he so deeply love exist in their proper narrative form without Eisenstein's work. So maybe the choice isn't that random.
Let's be honest though. It mostly was.
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